Imagine having a

Magnetic, Equitable,
Bicker-free, Sexy Marriage

in just 6 weeks.

Join the Waitlist

Enrollment to Modern Marriage is currently closed. Join the waitlist to be notified when we open the doors again.

If you’re a woman who…

Tries to do it all… raise the kids, have a successful career, keep the house in order and all the paperwork and doctors appointments straight, and still try to find time to take care of your body and have a spiritual practice…

Maybe you aren’t perfect, and things fall through the cracks, but at least you’re trying. You are always thinking about how to create an incredible life for yourself and your family, and stretch yourself to make that happen… and you feel your partner just does 15-20% of what’s needed to keep family life going and they want a fucking trophy for picking the kids up from school one day when you manage to figure it out every day (and yet you never ask for praise, but oh man, don’t you deserve it!)

Yet, you find yourself being critical and talking down to them like a child, and because of that, it’s no wonder they act like a defeated and defensive 17-year-old most of the time. You wonder if you just need to be more accepting and “stay in your lane” and be ok with “good enough”, I mean, he’s better than most husbands, and more on it than your Dad was, maybe you shouldn’t nag him so much and just do it yourself.

But you secretly wonder what it would be like with a partner who shared all the responsibilities equally (without being asked), was sexy as hell, spoke kindly to you, and acted as a real-life adult… and you realize that you’d feel so free to be yourself, so happy and have so much more SPACE to have the impact you want to have on the world.

If you’re a man who…

Has devoted his whole life to following the rules of being a “good man”, has gotten the best job you can, worked hard all day, and come home to a partner who’s pissed the second you walk in the door because you’re just 15 minutes late and expects you to jump in with the booger-faced, screaming kids and psychically know everything that went on that day. Can’t you just have a minute to catch your breath?  

You want to be helpful, but it seems like “she’s got it” and every time you try to do something, she just jumps all over you for not doing it right. So you attempt to take over while trying not to say anything that will set off the ticking time bomb that is your partner, all the while thinking, “Man, my dad never did any of this shit, why isn’t she more appreciative?” And all you want is for her to loosen up a bit, and have a little fun. You miss that person you were married to before you had kids.

Yet, you can’t remember the last time you took her on a date or brought her flowers… and every time she asks you to go to couples therapy or read a personal development book, you blow her off. You can see why she may feel like she’s outgrowing you. But you secretly wonder what it would be like to be with someone who was more relaxed, loved their body, boosted you up, didn’t cut you down, and was more like your wife, and less like your mom… and you realize that you’d feel free to be yourself, happier and have so much more space in your life.

Then you probably know that the state and quality of your marriage have the biggest impact on your life, and you’re never going to be completely happy unless your marriage changes.

But you haven’t fully committed to working on your marriage for one or more of these reasons:

  • You or your partner won’t go to therapy because “only couples who are getting divorced” go to therapy.
  • You do think about leaving your partner, but you’re terrified to tell them because deep down you love them, and you’re worried asking them to go to therapy will break them, or make them yell at you which you really want to avoid.
  • Your insurance doesn’t cover therapy… but insurance doesn’t cover wine, your Peloton, your car, that trip to Disney World you want to take, or your dog’s vet visits either.
  • You think that your partner needs to go do their own work and just be a better person and then the marriage will be fine.
  • You’ve asked them a million times, a million different ways to work on your marriage, and they never fully show up, and you’re just tired of asking.
  • It just feels easier to fill up your own cup with endless personal development, a little too much wine, time with friends, and putting all of your energy into your kids or your work.
  • You think working on things is weird, and if you just leave things alone, they will work out.
Or the most common one:

You’re worried that if you get real with how miserable you are, you’ll blow up what is a tolerable, mediocre relationship that is “dedicated to the kids” and it feels safer to just settle.

But here’s something you may not have thought of:

People only started marrying for love in the past 150 or so years. Before then, most marriages were a business arrangement centered around politics, family alliances, the aggregation of resources, and raising children. Men made the money while women stayed home, or if both people had to work, the woman was expected to do her job and manage 100% of the kids and home responsibilities. Women had virtually no rights in society or in marriage. Women couldn’t open their own bank accounts until 1971! Marital rape was not illegal until 1993! One could not marry someone of the same sex until 2015!

in short:

The institution and history of marriage are wrought with sexism, patriarchy, and outdated rules. The hard truth is that although we are seeing progress in the outside world, very little progress has been made inside of marriages.

Until we consciously update the agreements between two people in a marriage, we will default to the old, outdated unspoken agreements of the past that have been passed down from one generation to the next unchecked.

This is why we believe that two incredibly wise, smart, progressive people who are so well-loved and successful in their public lives, can be in an inequitable, tense, resentful, passionless marriage.

You might think that the only way to be happy is to choose another partner, but the truth is that the issue isn’t the person you’re married to, it’s the marriage.

 Are you ready to update your marriage so you can finally feel free to be yourself, have a rich life, and have more love and passion than you thought possible?

Let us introduce you to…

Modern Marriage

We define a Modern Marriage as a Sacred Union where both people are committed to:

  • Equitable sharing of responsibilities, resources, and power.
  • Actively cultivating love, great sex, respect, kindness, and joy.
  • Their own personal growth and devotion to being their authentic selves.

These three pillars create a self-fulling cycle of nourishment that continuously feeds what every human needs to flourish.

Marriage is still the cornerstone of our culture, so instead of tossing it out with yesterday’s garbage, let’s reclaim it, let’s renovate it, and create a legacy that we can pass on to the next generations.

Modern Marriage is a live (and recorded) couples course that walks couples through how to modernize each pillar of their relationship.

We will meet on Zoom for four 3-hour classes. The first 2 hours will be a combination of teaching and workshopping with your partner, and the last hour will be for questions. All classes will be recorded and sent out within 24 hours.

Before we dive into how Modern Marriage will transform your relationship (and life), we want to be really clear about who will benefit the most from this program:

Modern Marriage is a course about changing the outdated agreements of marriage based on traditional gender roles that are now outdated in the 21st Century (again, it’s no one’s fault! It’s just that we haven’t brought it out into the light yet), and therefore we believe that people who are in heterosexual couples will benefit the most from this specific body of work. Another way to say this is that, we believe that couples who are in same-sex relationships are more evolved, and aren’t as stuck as many opposite-sex couples.

Also, this course has been created based on our lived experience as a heterosexual, monogamous, couple with three children (8, 7, and 4). So we speak to what we know best, and we really know how damaging it is to be in an outdated marriage and exactly what needs to happen in order to modernize it.  However, we do feel like this course is still really beneficial for people without kids.

Important:

We recognize all marriages, regardless of gender, monogamy, and agreements as worthy and legitimate. If you are in a same-sex marriage and can relate to the inequitable division of labor, a lackluster sex life where one person is on a personal development path while the other is resistant, then you are SO WELCOME! We just want to be clear that we are not solving every relationship issue under the sun (like working through non-monogamy for example, we have no idea how to do that because that is not the path we’ve chosen) and we want to make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into. If you have any further questions on if this is the right course for you, you can send us an email at info@modernmarriage.us.

 

Here’s exactly what you’ll be learning in Modern Marriage:

Pillar 1: The Family Business

How to create equitable sharing of responsibilities, resources, and power.

In this section, we will walk you through how to run your life and family like a great business with two highly capable business partners. Imagine never feeling you’re doing more than your fair share of holding financial, kid or house responsibilities. Or that you both get to hold roles you love and enjoy instead of one of you getting to do what they love while the other fills in all the gaps and picks up the pieces.

We will talk A LOT about money. We will explore how earning money should be appreciated, and how both people can feel equal power in the relationship and in spending decisions regardless of who makes more money. We will talk about how to set financial goals, how to organize money, and how to not fight about it.

Disclaimer: In this course, we talk about how to make more money. We understand that this is a very triggering topic for some people, and often we are set in our ways that there is no possible way to make more money, nor should anyone want to make more money and we should be content with what we have right now. We understand that our (Sarah + Jonathan’s) privilege as white people allow us more ease in making money. We believe that everyone has the right to want and create more wealth in the future. This course supports you in creating a greater wealth consciousness that allows for more ease in your life, more support, more charitable donations of both your time and money and more fun and adventure. If you feel that you do not agree with this point of view (it’s just our opinion!) then this course may not be the right place for you, or you may want to just pass over the money section with love and grace.

We will also cover how to share the responsibility of raising children, how to navigate disagreements around parenting style, and how to get reaaaalllly clear on all of the unseen, unappreciated tasks, and bring them into the light and share them equally regardless of outdated gender roles.

Pillar 2: The Romantic Relationship

How to actively cultivate love, great sex, respect, kindness, and joy

In this section, we open with uncovering what dynamic you’re currently playing out… maybe you’re stuck in a business partner role, or a parent/child dynamic. Maybe one of you is more like the other’s therapist or life coach… regardless, two dynamics can’t exist at the same time, so if you are stuck in one of these, you can’t be in a LOVER dynamic.

We spend a lot of time going over how to talk to each other because if it’s one thing we’ve experienced it’s how damaging someone’s tone and treatment can be in the moment, and over time. If you frequently hear people say, “Your partner is so nice! What a kind, fun person!” and you’re thinking, “If you only knew how much an asshole they are”, then you’re going to really benefit from this lesson. Most couples use their partner as their punching bag and are their worst selves around them. We believe in saving the best for your partner. After all, they are supposedly the most important person in the world to you.

We talk about the strategies, time management, and communication needed to create space to be lovers. Yes, this includes dating, sex, and romance. And no, we don’t think scheduling sex is a good idea, but we do have some other amazing strategies that’ll make you feel deeply in love and attracted to your partner again.

A note on monogamy: we believe that all couples get to make their own decisions on who they are having sex with, as long as both people feel GREAT about it. We are in a monogamous relationship and plan to be so for life. We believe that you can have the hottest, best sex of your life with your lifelong, monogamous partner, and it’s super edgy and vulnerable. Doing a striptease and then getting up the next morning to get breakfast for your kids, is A LOT. Is it easier to let your freak flag fly and just sneak out in the middle of the night, yep! Is stretching yourself to be vulnerable with your partner and mind-blowing, sacred, edgy sex while also holding the mundane details of life together, an incredible soulful experience? Hell yes.

Pillar 3: Personal Growth

Why BOTH partners need to be dedicated to their own personal growth and devoted to being their authentic selves.

Let’s cut right to the chase, many women these days are committed to personal growth. We are learning about the power of positive thinking, understanding our triggers, working through childhood trauma, and developing a spiritual practice, while men are doing, well, nothing.

Our culture has brainwashed men to believe that they aren’t allowed to be emotional, that they don’t even have emotions. But did you know that research shows that men are actually more emotional and sensitive than women?

Personal growth and inner work are not just for women, it’s for everyone.

And if you’re a woman who does personal growth, you know the feeling that if you keep going, you’re going to outgrow your partner, and you know what? You might. We’re not going to sugarcoat it.

There was a time when Sarah felt like a Queen married to an immature man-child court Jester.  A Queen does not want a Jester.  A Queen wants a King- someone who is committed to stepping into their full power, confidence, and presence.  This requires inner work and new agreements around both of you committing to growth. We will guide you through this shift so each of you individually can become the fullest expression of who you are.

This is how the program works:

Once you enroll you and your partner below, you will both receive emails with the schedule of calls and the Zoom link for all of our classes. Then you two will have to get together and decide which ones you will come to live and when you will watch the recording. Please schedule when you will watch the recording so you do not skip it and waste your money!

We are also going to send you log-in information to our course website where all worksheets and call recordings will be posted, AND there will be two Facebook groups for support, one for women and one for men. If you are joining Modern Marriage and are in a same-sex relationship please reach out to us and we will help you find a group that is best for you.

Who is this program for?

As we mentioned above, Modern Marriage focuses on the challenges of patriarchy, sexism, and traditional gender roles inside marriage

(remember, none of these things are happening on purpose! It’s not your fault, it’s marriage’s fault), which is often most prevalent in heterosexual couples. Of course, if you are a same-sex couple and feel you can benefit from healing how patriarchal dynamics show up in your relationship, you are absolutely welcome.

You do not need to be married or have kids to be in Modern Marriage, just a desire to have an incredible, long-term relationship.

About your guides:
Sarah Jenks + Jonathan Brajtbord

FIRST, THE CREDS…

Sarah Jenks has mentored and coached thousands of women over the past 12 years in cultivating a purpose, an identity, and a sacred life. Her work has been featured in Forbes, Parents, Health and Success to name a few. Sarah is the founder of Whole Woman, an international community and program dedicated to healing patriarchal brainwashing and helping women be their true, fully expressed selves in the world.

Dr. Jonathan Brajtbord is a widely published, board-certified Urologist and Integrative Medicine Practitioner and the founder of Men’s Work, an online program dedicated to men’s physical, emotional and relational health.

Now our (short-ish) story: We met at Williams College when we were 21. Sarah was a pearl-wearing, collar popping, party planner and Jonathan was the starting fullback on the football team. We spent our early twenties in New York City. Jonathan went to medical school while Sarah worked a brief stint in marketing and then started her coaching practice. We were independent, traveled all the time, went out with our friends four nights a week, and had sex in public bathrooms. Our love was easy… and hot.

We got married and moved to San Francisco. Jonathan started residency, and Sarah’s company started to grow. We barely saw each other, but we were happy.

When we had kids, all of the passion and love drained out of our marriage. We became the couple who fought in fancy restaurants, forcing Sarah to leave and cry in the bathroom. Sarah became the primary parent and primary bread-winner which created overwhelming resentment. Jonathan worked 90 hours a week during his surgical residency and felt disconnected from the family, deeply unappreciated, and very distant from Sarah.

During this time, Sarah was also on a spiritual journey which Jonathan refused to join, making us feel like we didn’t understand each other anymore or have a common dream for the life we were supposed to be creating together.

But we caught ourselves before it was too late, and devoted a lot of time and money to healing our marriage.  The journey to creating a Modern Marriage based on sharing responsibilities, incredible romance, and us each having a strong purpose and self-care was long and expensive, so we created a condensed, affordable marriage course that you can do from your home in just 6 weeks.

Imagine looking at your partner and thinking:

This is the most supportive, sexy, ambitious, unique, caring, attractive person on the planet…

even if you’ve been together forever and feel bleh, meh or
even repulsed and rageful at them right now.

Exactly what you get when you sign up for Modern Marriage:

Modern Marriage is a 4 session online course that is taught live & recorded for you to do anytime, Valued at $2000

Plus you get these amazing bonuses:

Bonus 1:

A private Facebook group for support – one for women and one for men for you to reach out to our facilitators and other people in the course. Valued at: $300

Bonus 2:

Financial Tracking Sheet (so you can be financial partners regardless of who makes more money)
Valued at: $100

Bonus 3:

Responsibility Assignment sheet (so one person isn’t doing a lot of unseen, unappreciated labor)
Valued at: $100

Bonus 4:

Discussion questions after every lesson so each of you are committed to the new agreements.
Valued at: $150

Join the Waitlist

Enrollment to Modern Marriage is currently closed. Join the waitlist to be notified when we open the doors again.

I was hesitant to start working with Sarah and Jonathan from the beginning because I know there is so much that comes up from confronting my shadows. However, my husband and I recently watched the lessons. We were talking trial separation 3 weeks ago and now fast forward to us feeling more hopeful than ever before. Thank you!

–Kaila

We cuddled up on the couch, started digging into Modern Marriage, and made our first agreement! We are people who work on our marriage! It feels so good to be guided by the realness of Sarah and Jonathan. I’ve been feeling a big pull to focus on this and this course could not have come at a better time. Thank you!

–Deena

We are enrolled in Modern Marriage and I’m so excited! My husband is very straight-laced and I was so worried about asking him to join Modern Marriage. Even though he knows I love your work, this is a whole new level for him. When he found out the course is self-study and done all on our own time, he was relieved and a Hell YES. We are loving it!

-Chrissy

My husband and I have found Modern Marriage so valuable! My husband is in investment banking and the majority of his colleagues are in the antithesis of a modern marriage. Although that hasn’t been a great example for our family, my husband has started to lead by example with his co-workers. He began blocking out 5-6 pm on his calendar daily to help me with the kids’ bedtime routine and he feels so much more empowered! Jonathan’s background and approach really resonated with him. Woo!

-Anonymous

Frequently Asked Questions:

Can we sign up if we're not married?

Yes! Modern Marriage is for anyone in a committed relationship, you do not need to be married to participate.

If we don't have kids, can we still do Modern Marriage?

Yes! You do not have to have children to participate in Modern Marriage.

Can we do this if we're in a same-sex or non-binary relationship?

Yes! You are welcome to participate in Modern Marriage.

Can we do this if we're engaged?

Absolutely! We want to support you and your relationship as it unfolds.

What if we can’t afford Modern Marriage?

We don’t want the investment to be stressful, but if it’s a matter of it being a stretch vs impossible, take some time to run the numbers, look at your budget and see if there’s space to re-work any of your expenses to make the program a reality. Also, a payment plan is available.

What if we don’t have the time for a marriage course?

We suggest making sure you carve out space on your calendar to watch the lessons and work through the content together. This may mean delegating or canceling other things that don’t take priority. We find there is something very powerful about actually making that commitment that really helps to stay on track!

How long is the course?

This is a live 6-week course. The calls are recorded and we encourage you to take as much time as you need for you and your partner to thoroughly move through the content.

How to know if you’re ready to transform your relationship with Modern Marriage:

  • You find yourself fighting over stupid shit all the time.
  • There’s a low level of annoyance at each other that seeps into most of your interactions and conversations.
  • Every time one of you brings up going to therapy, the other person freaks out because they don’t want to “share” with a total stranger.
  • You’re always fighting over who does what and one person feels like they’re doing everything whereas one feels like they’re the hero for doing something once.
  • You used to really love each other, but after having kids, you feel more like business partners (albeit shitty ones) and less like lovers.
  • One of you is doing a lot of inner work and growth, and the other person is stuck.
  • You’ve fallen in “default” roles around taking care of the house and kids.
  • You both know that something needs to change, even though you don’t know what or how.
  • Every time one of you brings up going to therapy, the other person freaks out because they don’t want to “share” with a total stranger.
  • At the end of the day, even though you’re unhappy, you desperately love this person and would do anything for them.
  • You’re excited to have a clear vision and plan for the rest of your marriage and your life.
  • Deep down you know that your marriage is the source of a lot of discomfort and pain, and if you could just shift your relationship into a better place, your whole life would feel easier.
  • You’re ready to take the time and open your mind up to a new way of doing marriage, one that can have an incredible impact on the rest of your life.

Join the Waitlist

Enrollment to Modern Marriage is currently closed. Join the waitlist to be notified when we open the doors again.

And, this all comes with our money-back guarantee until Monday, June 27th.

Yes, you read that right. We are so confident in this program and so devoted to making it accessible for all couples, that we’d like to welcome you risk-free to get a taste of the marriage magic that awaits. In that time, you’ll be able to go through the first call and get a real feel for the course and if you decide after that you’d rather sink back into your old marriage patterns and beliefs because it just feels like too much or the wrong time, we’ll refund you your investment. We want this work to resonate and to help you have your unicorn marriage, but only if you’re truly ready to embrace it.

We want you and your partner to seriously dive in and dedicate yourselves, so we just ask that you do the marriage course work for the first call and, if you’re not satisfied for any reason, simply send in the marriage course work and your cancellation request to our team at  info@sarahjenks.com. We hope you’ll stay in the program, but also won’t ask any questions if we get your request – no shame here.

It would be an honor to go on this journey with you. We hope to see you today inside our program.

Love, Sarah & Jonathan

We started Modern Marriage and after having a heart to heart about my desire to take action on the course and continue to do the work, he provided! We watched the first lesson and made a commitment to complete subsequent lessons each Tuesday. Now we are actively discussing and making the necessary changes to modernize our marriage. What a gift!

-Anonymous

We are incredibly grateful for Modern Marriage – we can’t believe how different we feel in our marriage! We are so much more appreciative of our individual contributions as we make incremental changes towards an even more satisfying way to work the business of our home life. For the first time ever, I paid a professional detailer to clean my car today because neither of us wanted to do it. It felt amazing to make a collaborative agreement to delegate and redistribute our finances to make it possible. Also, scheduling regular meetings to discuss important aspects of our shared life is so relieving! The kid’s section encouraged us to finally take the time to set up parental controls on devices for our 12-year-old, something I have been procrastinating about for years! We are really getting so much value – thank you both so much.

-Anonymous

Marriage is hard. Anyone who makes you think that it’s not isn’t being straight with you. It’s hard in different ways for different folks, but for us, it’s about equity and communication. After 12 years of marriage, we have made it a practice to align and do the necessary work to evolve. That being said, we also believe in getting help, and not just when we need it. This is why we signed up for Modern Marriage. I have watched Sarah and Jonathan navigate so much that resonates and aligns with how we want our marriage to feel and even though we don’t have it all figured out perfectly, they are doing the work in a big way. We’ve learned so much and can’t wait to continue to dive in!

-Leigh