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Tries to do it all … raise the kids, have a successful career, keep the house in order, organize all the paperwork and appointments, and still try to find time to take care of your mind, body, and spirit …
Maybe you aren’t perfect, and things fall through the cracks, but at least you’re trying. You are always thinking about how to create an incredible life for yourself and your family. You are the type of person who stretches themselves thin to make it happen … but … you feel your partner only contributes 15-20% of what is needed to keep the family life going. They want a fucking trophy for picking up the kids from school one day when you manage to figure it out every day. Sound familiar? And, yet you never ask for praise, but oh man, you deserve it!
Still, you find yourself being critical and talking down to your partner like a child. Due to this, it’s no wonder they act like a defeated and defensive 17-year-old most of the time. You wonder if you just need to be more accepting and “stay in your lane” and be okay with “good enough.” Thoughts begin to race like “he is better than most husbands” or “he is more on it than your dad was.” This leads you to believe that you shouldn’t nag him so much and you end up just doing it yourself. Sound familiar?
Secretly, you wonder what it would be like to be with a partner who shared all the responsibilities equally (without being asked), was sexy as hell, spoke kindly to you, and acted as a real-life adult … and you realize that you’d feel so free to be yourself, so happy and have so much more SPACE to have the impact you want to have on the world.
Has devoted his whole life to following the rules of being a “good man,” has obtained the best job he can, worked hard all day, and come home to a partner who’s pissed the second you walk in the door because you’re just 15 minutes late, and expects you to jump in with the booger-faced, screaming kids and psychically know everything that went on that day. Can’t you just have a minute to catch your breath?
You want to be helpful, but it seems like “she’s got it” and every time you try to do something, she just jumps down your throat for not doing it right. So, you attempt to take over while simultaneously walking on eggshells trying to not set off the ticking time bomb that is your partner. All while thinking, “Man, my dad never did any of this shit, why isn’t she more appreciative?” You just want her to loosen up a bit and have a little fun. You miss that person you married before you had kids.
But … you can’t remember the last time you took her on a date or brought her flowers … and every time she asks you to go to couples therapy or read a personal development book, you completely blow her off. At the same time, you secretly wonder what it would be like to be with someone who was more relaxed, loved their body, boosted you up, didn’t cut you down, and was more like your wife and less like your mom … and you realize that you’d feel free to be yourself, happier, and have so much more SPACE in your life.
The concept of marrying for love has only taken place in the last 150 years or so. Before then, most marriages were a business arrangement centered around politics, family alliances, the aggregation of resources, and raising children. Men made the money, while women stayed home. If both people had to work, the woman was expected to do her job and manage 100% of the kids and home responsibilities. Women had virtually no rights in society or in marriage. Women couldn’t open their own bank accounts until 1971! Marital rape was not illegal until 1993! One could not marry someone of the same sex until 2015!
in short:
The institution and history of marriage were wrought with sexism, patriarchy, and outdated rules. The hard truth is that although we are seeing progress in the outside world, there has been very little progress within marriages.
These three pillars create a self-fulling cycle of nourishment that continuously feeds what every human needs to flourish.
Marriage is still the cornerstone of our culture. Instead of tossing it out with yesterday’s garbage, let’s reclaim it! Let’s renovate it to create a legacy that we can pass on to the next generation.
We recognize all marriages (regardless of gender, monogamy, and agreements) are worthy and legitimate. If you are in a same-sex marriage and can relate to the inequitable division of labor, a lackluster sex life where one person is on a personal development path while the other is resistant, then you are SO WELCOME to join! We just want to be clear that we are not solving every relationship issue under the sun. Like working through non-monogamy, we have no idea how to do that because it isn’t the path we have chosen. We want to make sure you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. If you have any further questions on if this course is the right fit for you, please send us an email at [email protected].
Here’s exactly what you’ll be learning in Modern Marriage:
How to create equitable sharing of responsibilities, resources, and power.
In this section, we will walk you through how to run your life and family like a great business with two highly capable business partners. Imagine a partnership where you never do more than your fair share of responsibilities – financial, kid, house, or otherwise. Or that you both get to hold roles you love and enjoy instead of situations where one of you gets to do what you love while the other one fills in all the gaps and picks up the pieces.
We will talk A LOT about money. We will explore how earning money should be appreciated, and how both people can feel equal power in the relationship and in spending decisions, regardless of who makes more money. We will talk about how to set financial goals, how to organize money, and how to not fight about it.
DISCLAIMER: In this course, we discuss how to make more money. We understand that this can be a very triggering topic for some people. Often, we are set in our ways, we sometimes believe that there is no possible way to make more money, nor should anyone want to make more money. It is this belief that we should be content with what we have right now. We understand that our (Sarah + Jonathan’s) privilege as white people allows us more ease in making money. We believe that everyone has the right to want and create more wealth in the future. This course supports you in creating a greater wealth consciousness that allows for more ease in your life, more support, more charitable donations of both your time and money, and more fun and adventure. If you feel that you do not agree with this point of view (it’s just your opinion!), then this course may not be the right place for you. That is okay! Or you may choose to pass over the money section of the course with love and grace.
We also cover how to share the responsibility of raising children, how to navigate disagreements around parenting styles, and how to get reaaallly clear on all the unseen, unappreciated tasks, and bring them into the light to figure out how to share them equally regardless of outdated gender roles.
How to actively cultivate love, great sex, respect, kindness, and joy
In this section, we open with uncovering what dynamic you’re currently playing out … maybe you’re stuck in a business partner role, or a parent/child dynamic. Maybe one of you is more like the other’s therapist or life coach … regardless, two dynamics can’t exist at the same time. If you are stuck in one of these, you can’t be in a LOVER dynamic.
We spend a lot of time in this pillar to discuss how to talk to each other, because if it’s one thing we’ve experienced, it’s how damaging someone’s tone and treatment can be in the moment and compounded over time. If you frequently hear people say, “Your partner is so nice! What a kind, fun person!” while you are thinking, “If you only know how much an asshole they are,” you will really benefit from this lesson. Most couples use their partner as their punching bag and are their worst selves around them. We believe in saving the best for your partner. After all, they are supposed to be the most important person in the world to you.
We talk about the strategies, time management, and communication needed to create space to be lovers. Yes, this includes dating, sex, and romance. And no, we don’t think scheduling sex is a good idea. However, we do have some other amazing strategies that will make you feel deeply in love and attracted to your partner again.
A note on monogamy: We believe that all couples get to make their own decisions on who they have sex with, as long as both people feel GREAT about it. We are in a monogamous relationship and plan to be so for life. We believe that you can have the hottest, best sex of your life with your lifelong, monogamous partner. It’s super edgy and vulnerable. Doing a striptease and then getting up the next morning to make breakfast for your kids, is A LOT. Is it easier to let your freak flag fly and just sneak out in the middle of the night, yep! Is stretching yourself to be vulnerable with your partner and mind-blowing, sacred, edgy sex while also holding the mundane details of life together an incredible soulful experience? Hell yes, it is!
Why BOTH partners need to be dedicated to their own personal growth and devoted to their most authentic selves.
Let’s cut right to the chase. Many women, these days, are committed to personal growth. We are learning about the power of positive thinking, understanding our triggers, working through childhood trauma, and developing a spiritual practice. And men are, well, doing nothing.
Our culture has brainwashed men into believing that they aren’t allowed to be emotional – that they don’t even have emotions. But did you know that research shows that men are more emotional and sensitive than women?
Personal growth and inner work are not just for women. They are for everyone.
If you are a woman who does personal growth, you know the feeling that if you just keep going, you will outgrow your partner… you know what … you might. We’re not going to sugarcoat it.
There was a time when Sarah felt like a Queen married to an immature man-child Court Jester. A Queen does not want a Jester. A Queen wants a King – someone who is committed to stepping into their fullest power, confidence, and presence. This requires deep inner work and new agreements around both of you being committed to growth. In this pillar, we guide you through this shift so each of you, individually, can become the fullest expression of who YOU are.
This is how the program works:
Once you enroll you and your partner below, you will receive an email confirming your enrollment. This email will include your course log in information. This website holds all the tools you will need – the recorded lessons, Q&A sessions with couples that attended the live program, and additional resources for both partners.
Because this is a self-study program, it’s up to you how you move through it. Our recommendation is that you move through the program one lesson at a time and leave ample space for conversations, reflection, and integration. These topics are deep and can bring up A LOT. Make sure you give yourselves the space you need to really move through the content intentionally.
Our number one tip is to decide how and when you will do each lesson and PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDARS! There needs to be a commitment from both partners to show up and make the most of this work.
Who is this program for?
Remember, none of these things are happening on purpose! It is not your fault, it’s the fault of marriage! This is typically more prevalent in heterosexual couples. Of course, if you are a same-sex couple and feel you can benefit from healing how patriarchal dynamics show up in your relationship, you are absolutely welcome.
You do not need to be married or have kids to be in Modern Marriage – just a desire to have an incredible, long-term relationship is all you need.
Imagine looking at your partner and thinking:
even if you’ve been together forever and feel bleh, meh, or
even repulsed and rageful at this right now.
Modern Marriage is a 4-session self-study course that was taught live and recorded for you to do at any time. It is valued at $1111.
Plus you get these amazing bonuses:
Financial Tracking Sheet – you can be financial partners regardless of who makes more money! Valued at: $100.
Responsibility Assignment Sheet – keeping each other accountable so one person isn’t doing all the unseen, unappreciated labor. Valued at: $100.
Discussion questions after every lesson – accountability to our commitment to the new agreements. Valued at: $150.
If you and your partner are ready to go even deeper, check out the Sacred Union Bundle which includes
– Modern Marriage Self-Study Course (value $497)
– 3 Months in Holy Woman (value $375)
– Men’s Work: 6-week live program beginning in September 2024 (value $499)
TOTAL INVESTMENT: $999 (SAVE $372)
If you are already in Holy Woman, click here to purchase Modern Marriage + Men’s Work for $799 (or click here for 3 monthly payments of $333).
If you missed our free Marriage Reset Masterclass click here to watch the replay for even more details.
Yes! Modern Marriage is for anyone in a committed relationship. You do not need to be married to participate.
Absolutely! You do not need to have children to participate in Modern Marriage.
Yes! You are welcome to participate in Modern Marriage. When you sign up, email us for support to find the perfect fit for you in the Facebook groups.
Absolutely! We want to support you and your relationship as it unfolds.
We don’t want the investment to be stressful. If it’s a matter of it being a stretch vs. impossible, take some time to run the numbers. Look at your budget. Is there space to re-work any of your expenses to make this program a reality?
We suggest making sure you carve out space on your calendar to watch the lessons and work through the content together. This may mean delegating or canceling other things that don’t take priority. We find there is something very powerful about actually making that commitment that really helps to stay on track!
There are about 8 hours of recorded lessons in the Modern Marriage self-study course, plus access to hours of recorded Q&A sessions from the last live round of the program where we workshopped issues with real couples as they moved through the content. We encourage you to take as much time as you need for you and your partner to thoroughly move through the content.
If you missed our free Marriage Reset Masterclass click here to watch the replay for even more details.
If you and your partner are ready to go even deeper, check out the Sacred Union Bundle which includes
– Modern Marriage Self-Study Course (value $497)
– 3 Months in Holy Woman (value $375)
– Men’s Work: 6-week live program beginning in September 2024 (value $499)
TOTAL INVESTMENT: $999 (SAVE $372)
If you are already in Holy Woman, click here to purchase Modern Marriage + Men’s Work for $799 (or click here for 3 monthly payments of $333).
*NOTE: Please enter the person not joining Men’s Work on this page. You will enter the partner joining Men’s Work on the confirmation page that follows.
*NOTE: Enter the person’s information who is joining Holy Woman on this form. You will enter the partner joining Men’s Work on the confirmation page. This bundle includes your first 3 months of Holy Woman free, then billed at $125/mo until canceled. Cancel at any time.
*NOTE: Please enter the person not joining Men’s Work on this page. You will enter the partner joining Men’s Work on the confirmation page that follows.
*NOTE: Enter the person’s information who is joining Holy Woman on this form. You will enter the partner joining Men’s Work on the confirmation page. This bundle includes your first 3 months of Holy Woman free, then billed at $125/mo until canceled. Cancel at any time.
*NOTE: Enter the main person’s information on this form. You will enter the second partner on the confirmation page. If the second partner’s gender is male, they will receive separate emails from Jonathan.
*NOTE: Enter the main person’s information on this form. You will enter the second partner on the confirmation page. If the second partner’s gender is male, they will receive separate emails from Jonathan.